Payback
by Cana-Puff
Summary: Bakura's found out about Ryou's cold hearted father leaving him after his sister and mum's deaths. Now, he wants to get revenge! A little silly nearer the end. One-Shot. No pairings.


**Payback**

"He never came back, did he?" Bakura asked. Ryou shook his head.

"Not after they died. He said he'd be back from the dig after a few months... " He admitted.

"But it's been three years." Malik pointed out.

A thought struck Ryou. "I wonder... If he remembers he has a son?"

"I bet he does. I bet he looks back and wonders whether he'd made the right choice. Do you want him to come back?"

"...No. Not really. He abandoned me. I don't think he should allow himself to wonder back in here and just _become _my father again," Ryou's voice changed from forlorn to a snarl, one he'd picked up from Bakura.

"You know, I don't think it's right to leave your only remaining family alone. He doesn't even send you money!"

"I know. He loves his damn money too much to send me any."

"I'm thinking..."

"Don't hurt yourself!" Marik snorted. Bakura ignored him.

"I'm thinking of a way to pay him back. Yeah, and we'll need you, Malik, Kaiba, Mai... Maybe some more people along the way, I dunno."

"Why me?" Malik asked curiously.

"Because you can write in Arabic."

"...Oh. Well what about the other people you mentioned?"

"All in good time, my friend..."

Bakura stood confidently on the front step at the gate of the Kaiba Mansion and pressed the buzzer. Unlike any other intercom, the voice that came out was so clear, it sounded like an invisible Kaiba was replying from right next to him.

'Who is it?'

"Me."

'Don't bother messing around with me, I can tell it's you by your voice, Bakura'

"Aw, spoil the fun!"

'What do you want?' Kaiba asked in a bored tone.

"I need your help for..." Bakura smirked. He'd done _his _research and knew it'll convince Kaiba at once. "...An Orphan."

'...I'll buzz you in.' And indeed, a buzzing noise sounded and the gate swung open for Bakura to stroll through and to where Kaiba was waiting for him.

"How'd ya get down this fast?" Bakura asked, grinning.

"How do you think? Now, what was this about an orphan?"

"Well, it's Ryou."

"Ryou's an orphan?" Kaiba looked mildly surprised.

"Technically. His mother was killed along with his sister. His father abandoned him soon after that."

"I never knew..."

"Ryou didn't exactly display it to whoever would listen," Bakura pointed out.

"How do I fit in to whatever plan you're brewing, anyway?"

"It'll cost you."

"I've more than enough money."

"Nice to see your optimism. I'll need to borrow your mansion and a camera, too."

"Done. Now how about you tell me what the plan is? And what's the outcome you're aiming for?"

"Revenge. On Ryou's daddy."

"Revenge! If you'd said that before, you wouldn't have needed the orphan line! I'm in!"

"HAHAHA! Oh, Kaiba. You always cracked me up!"

So, they - Bakura, Ryou, Malik, Marik, Mai and Kaiba - sat around Ryou's living room with varying expressions of curiosity on their faces.

"Why am I here?" Mai asked.

"Yes, what _is _this ingenious plan about?" Malik cocked his head.

"I would like to know that, too," Kaiba raised an enquiring eyebrow.

"Okay, okay. Right. First, we need Ryou to stand outside the Kaiba mansion with Mai while we take a picture."

"Uh, why?" Ryou asked.

"Because! You'll find out soon. Malik, you're not needed 'till later, but you can start working sooner if you like. I'll tell you what you have to do in private."

"Why aren't you telling us the plan?"

"It'll ruin the surprise!" Bakura grinned.

"I wanna do my bit!"

"Then come with me my friend..." Bakura led Malik into the other room, Marik watching his Hikari go with sad, puppy dog eyes. He didn't like not being with his Hikari!

When they were in the other room, Bakura lead Malik to an Arabic type writer and what looked like instructions sitting next to it.

"I'm not even gonna ask how the hell you got that type writer. Now what do I do?"

"It's aaalll down on the paper, I don't have time to explain because I have a picture to take, but if you have a query, just call me. By the way, I know I don't have a mobile phone, I stole Ryou's." Malik frowned at him. "_What_? Ryou never uses it anyway!" Malik sighed.

"Alright. Whatever." Malik picked up the instructions on the table and started to read them.

"And remember to disguise your name!" Bakura slid out of the door and back into the other room.

"Ok, let's go to Kaiba's!" They trekked outside and got into Kaiba's limo (What, you didn't think he _walked _here, did you?).

Once there, Kaiba opened the gate and took out a polaroid camera. Ryou stood at the front door and Mai stood next to him.

"Why am I in the picture?" Mai questioned.

"'Cos you're supposed to be Ryou's hot, sexy, young wife," Bakura explained as if it were obvious.

"Uhm, what?" Ryou's eyes widened and a blush dusted his cheeks.

"Look, it's _really important_ to the plan. Now, when we take the picture, I want you two to kiss!"

"Uh, I..." Ryou trailed off before leaning up to Mai's ear to whisper something. Bakura wished he could hear what Ryou was saying. When he was finished Mai gave a little 'Oh' and giggled.

"Okay, you don't have to kiss me! Just put your arm around my waist like this," She moved Ryou's arm and Ryou went redder. "You know, it's lucky you're tall and I'm kinda short, because if I were too tall, it'd look weird."

"Mm..." Ryou didn't know what to say in reply to something like that.

"Alright!" Bakura held up the camera, "Pose for me, and uh... check out the birdie puppet on my hand!" Ryou giggled and Mai smiled as though she'd done this before, which she probably had. There was a bright flash and the picture slipped out of the slot at the bottom. Kaiba, who was watching all this from the side, picked it up and watched it develop.

"Great! Now Kaiba, this is where I fill you in on the plan so that you can complete your next mission. I'm sure you'll do brilliantly with all those connections you have." Kaiba smirked at the compliment.

"Bring it."

"Hang on!" Ryou jumped in.

"I want to know this plan! Malik knows, Kaiba's gonna know, when'll I?"

"You'll get to know soon... but last. And I'm gonna drag it out for as long as possible," Bakura showed off his fangs in a huge grin. A tingling sound issued from his pocket and Bakura jumped. He'd forgotten about the mobile and pulled it out.

"Is that my mobile?!" Ryou yelled, not really mad but hey.

"Yeah, but you always keep it off so I didn't think you need it..."

"There's a reason I-"

"Anzu? Whaddaya want?" Anzu's voice came out of the phone sounding distorted. Bakura snapped it shut.

"_That's _why I keep my phone off. Anzu has my number," Ryou sighed, "Her friendship speeches are annoying."

"Ah."

"...Did you really think this up in a micro-second? It seems a little too planned out," Kaiba had just finished reading the plan Bakura had.

"Well, yeah. I just developed it _after _I told everyone I had one," Bakura explained, smugly.

"So, you want me to contact the largest, most popular Egyptian newspaper publishers and publish the article you gave to Malik to write in Arabic?"

"Yes!"

"...Alright."

"Malik, I have this picture for your article. What do you think?" Bakura brandished the polaroid picture under Malik's nose. Malik pushed it back to get a better look.

"Oh, that's great! How'd you get Ryou to pose like that?"

"Well, I originally told Ryou and Mai to have a good snog in front of the camera. We settled for this instead."

"Ah. Anyway, this is really great! Does Ryou know what the plan is, yet?" Malik asked, taking the picture from Bakura.

"Uh, no. But I plan to in some time."

"Good. I kinda feel bad about keeping him in the dark longest."

"I don't. It's more fun this way." Bakura grinned and hopped away to wait until the plan fell into place.

"Hang on! I've finished, what do I do now?!" Malik hollered after him.

- - - - - - - (Somewhere in Egypt; an Archaeological dig, and a real big jump forward in time)

"Mr Bakura, Sir! The newspapers have just been unloaded and look at the front cover!" Professor Bakura sighed and put down his documents of the latest finds. Work was slow lately and he was glad to get a break.

"Ok, what is it?"

"Well..." The man glanced at it. The word that stuck out the most was 'Bakura', and next to that 'Ryou'.

"Wha-_What?_"

"Mean anything to you, Sir?"

"...I need to take a trip to Japan. _Now._"

"Yes, Sir. I'll book a flight to leave in five hours." Ah, yes, Professor Bakura's personal assistant was very good. Never questioned him.

Professor Bakura looked back to read the article.

**_Ryou Bakura's Big Break_**

_By Malikano Ishtar-handsome_

_It seems like Ryou Bakura has it all. And he does. Ryou, after succeeding in taking over the world's largest gaming company, Kaiba corp. (Now renamed Baku corp.) had become the richest and most datable bachelor in the world. Later, Ryou married the world's most beautiful woman, Mai Valentine._

A picture of Ryou with his arm around Mai Valentine, kissing her on the cheek.

_Ryou Bakura with Mai Valentine in front of Ryou's large mansion._

_Ryou is now indeed living the life, and here are the views of some random passers-by._

_"I like Ryou; he's friendly and once gave me a lolly pop when I dropped mine!" Yugi Mouto, aged 16._

_"Ryou's rich? Aww man! And he said he couldn't afford that ham burger... I spent my pocket money on one to cheer him up!" Katsuya Jonouchi, also aged 16._

_"...Who?" Random person. Also sixteen._

Professor Bakura stopped reading. Had he been a cartoon, his pupils would be replaced with cash signs. Ah yes, Professor Bakura knew what he would do. Find Ryou and ask for forgiveness, and after that he would be a rich man. Ryou was a forgiving boy, and he would surely want his father back.

It was the perfect plan.

"Ryou. You want to know the plan?"

"So much!" Ryou whined.

"And me," Mai cut in.

"Well, now I think I'll tell you. You see, your father loves money, right? Well, Malik wrote an article in Arabic about how you are the most successful guy in the whole entire world and published it in the part of Egypt where your father is on a dig and he's going to, or already read it and shall come over here looking for a part in your life for the money. When he does..." Bakura drew a finger across his throat.

"You're gonna kill him?!"

"No... Just... hurt hum. A bit. And humiliate him. Publicly."

"Hush."

"What?"

"Uh, what's Kaiba's mansion got to with it?"

"Well, you can't be the richest, hottest man in the world and live in your dumpy little apartment!"

"Hey...!"

"Oh, and Mai is your super sexy wife!"

"..."

"Well," Mai smiled, "I think it's a good idea. And you don't worry, Ryou. This'll only last until we - as in they - do whatever they've got planned for your father."

"Ok," Ryou nodded. "While I'm here, I think I'll take a look around."

"Me too!" Bakura and Marik cheered.

"Oh, god," Kaiba worried about the welfare of his mansion.

"Don't worry, Kaiba! We'll be careful!" Bakura yelled and yanked Marik away.

- - - - - - - (This is just to fill time for until Prof. Bakura arrives.)

Bakura and Marik first wandered into Kaiba's bedroom. Marik took out a dagger and immediately started mutilating the pillows and creating a sea of feathers. Bakura waded through them until he got to Kaiba's wardrobe.

"I always wondered what it's like in here." When he pulled on the handle, an alarm went off and rang through the whole building.

_WARDROBE ALERT! INTRUDER! WARDROBE ALERT!_

"Uh... Let's get out of here..." Bakura pulled Marik away, Marik let out a childish whine of protest, just as guards poured into the room and stumbled, getting their legs caught on long feathers.

Next, they came to a bathroom. Bakura knew what he wanted to do in here... and so, it seemed, did Marik who had unzipped his pants and started to piss a mile away from the toilet bowl in favour of the bathtub and the floor. Bakura ignored him and picked up the toothpaste. Scrawling _the thief king was here!_ on the mirror, he nearly used up the whole tube. Next he opened all the bottles and created a mini, scented flood. Then he turned on all the taps - sink, bath, shower and bidet - until they overflowed and added to the flood. A mass of bubbles built up and Marik screamed.

"AAAH! CLENLINESS! It buuuurrrns!"

"You idiot," Bakura pulled him out into the corridor, "I'm not surprised you smell bad. Come on, let's find something else." Marik nodded and they went in search of a new play room. As they turned the corner, Bakura noticed the ceiling-high bubbles burst out of the door.

After jogging for a while, there was a huge kitchen. Better yet, the huge kitchen was completely void of chefs.

"Hurrah!" Marik beamed and turned up the cooker to full blast and watched the flames flicker, a mad gleam in his eye. Bakura found a stash of raw steaks and smiled. He only just realised how hungry he was. Ripping open the packet, he began to devour them, violently. Ten minutes later, the room looked like it was repainted crimson.

Marik had grown bored of the fire and left it to burn by itself in favour of carving crude symbols everywhere. Bakura shrugged and opened the giant fridge. He pulled out everything slightly liquidy (Such as milk, vegetable oil, yoghurt, orange juice, etc.) and poured them into the blender. He considered the lid for a second but decided against it and switched the blender on. Greyish liquid splashed everywhere, mixing in with the blood. Marik hissed and scowled as he got splashed.

"I'm bored here!" He declared and pulled Bakura out. As an afterthought, he pulled out a lighter and set fire to the kitchen. They sprinted away as the overhead sprinklers switched on. Marik giggled madly and Bakura smirked.

"We'd better get back to the rest of them. In fact... Come with me. You've got an important role for when daddy arrives!"

"Hello, Bakura. Where's Marik?" Ryou asked, peeking behind Bakura to see it Marik was there as he approached.

"He's hiding, waiting... for your dad."

"Oh. Why?"

"In case we need him. And trust me. We will."

"Uh, ok. Anyway, I've been thinking... I don't think that I can face my father," Ryou looked down, feeling guilty that he'd spoiled Bakura's plan.

"No problem." Bakura assured him. "I can fill in for you, I do a great impression!" He flattened his hair and relaxed his eyes, so they looked softer.

"Excuse me, could you direct me to the bus stop? I'm lost..."

"Oh, you look adorable!" Mai squealed and engulfed Bakura in a hug.

"You see, Ryou!" Bakura managed to get out through Mai's hug-of-death. "Perfect- Mai, get _off _me!"

"Sorry!" Mai blushed, but before anyone could speak, the doorbell rang.

"Well, that was fast! Right, Ryou and Kaiba, you go make yourselves scarce, we can't let Professor Bakura see you! Mai, come here." Ryou hurried away, and Kaiba

marched away with dignity.

"Enter!" Bakura called, in his 'Ryou' voice. A man in a suit and blue hair came in.

"Ah, Ryou! Son! I've missed you so much. And your wife! _Enchanté_!" He kissed her hand and waited for 'Ryou' to reply.

"Pleasure to see you again, Professor Bakura."

"Oh please, no formalities with your father!"

"My apologies, Professor Bakura." Bakura narrowed his eyes slightly. Professor Bakura sighed.

"Ok, never mind. Now, I know I left you for Egypt, but I would love to have a part in your life again."

Bakura snorted.

"Alright, let me give you a hug?" Professor Bakura held out his hands, but Bakura could see the greed in his eyes, which was as expected. So, he did what Ryou did to him

when he accidentally kicked Ryou in the nuts. He slapped him

"You. Utter. Bastard."

"Ok, listen up you little-"

"RELEASE THE HOUNDS!" Bakura yelled.

"...We don't have hounds," Mai pointed out.

"In that case... MARIK! Come on, Mai, let's play in the bedroom and frolic in our tonnes of money!"

"Deal!" And they fled as Marik emerged menacingly from the shadows.

"Hello, Professor. I hear you hurt my friend, Ryou. I think you don't deserve to live... DIE!" A scream was heard echoing through the many corridors.

"You didn't kill him, did you?" Ryou asked, slightly unnerved by the scream

"I dunno, but seeing as it's Marik, I'd say there's a 0.09% chance of him getting out alive." Bakura chuckled. Ryou sighed. "Ah, revenge is _sweet_!"

"So..." Malik turned to Ryou, "Why couldn't you kiss Mai on the lips?" At this, Mai burst into fits of giggles and Ryou blushed, burying his head in his hands.

"Should I tell them?" Mai asked. Ryou shook his head furiously. "Aw, come on!" Ryou paused then nodded his head, resignedly. "Ok... Ryou's gay! Isn't it cute!"

"You are?" Malik asked. Ryou nodded again. "Wow."

"I did suspect. It explains why I'm a homo!" Bakura blinked.

"Aheh..." Ryou was about to say something when Kaiba's voice interrupted him.

"BAKURA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MANSION?!"

"And that's my cue to leave!" Bakura was gone in a flash.

"...I'm going home."

**The end**


End file.
